1) You may drive on the right, left or in the middle of the road or any combination of these. Take hairpin bends on the left side.
2) If approaching a narrow bit of road, and there is an oncoming vehicle (especially something big like a motorhome) accelerate to establish right of way.
3) At junctions, if you can’t see what’s coming, just pull out as quickly as possible. Don’t look at the vehicles you have forced to screech to a halt.
4) When you see someone you know it is important to hoot long and loud especially, if you are just passing a nervous middle-aged cyclist.
5) All cyclists should be passed as closely as possible; if they don’t wobble, you haven’t gone close enough.
6) When opening your car door into the road, always wait until a cyclist is within range.
7) If two opposing vehicles are approaching an intersection at the same speed, the driver talking to his girlfriend on his mobile has priority.
8) Pedestrian crossings. These are for decoration only.
9) Ignore all speed limits and just go as fast as you can.
10) Avoid use of indicators. It is important to keep other road users guessing.
11) Give priority to all emergency vehicles with blue lights flashing. It is likely that the driver is finishing his shift and has a hot date that evening,
12) When riding a motorbike or scooter and holding a conversation with your pillion passenger, keep eye contact with them at all times.