I have been a bit poorly, I have had a bad tummy and was feeling very sorry for myself. I was lying on my back with my feet in the air doing my best to look ‘hangdog’, when I heard my humans talking about me. I thought they might be saying something like “Poor Colin is really, really sick, what he needs to make him better is a packet of sausages, pan au chocolat or a juicy chunk of that smelly French cheese he likes”. BUT what they were actually saying was “Colin is in the doghouse, he has eaten something disgusting and made himself sick, he needs to starve for 24 hours till his tummy settles down”. That’s not right! … well … it is right that I did a bit of foraging. I was being enterprising and supplementing my meagre rations. I refuse to say what I ate, no one will ever know but it smelt wonderful, really strong and pongy, just how I like it.
Please send all flowers, cards and food parcels to Colin the Dog c/o Mavis the Motorhome, France – on second thoughts don’t bother with the flowers, just send lots of food.